A Brief Collection Of Thoughts On A Lost Essay
Two years ago, when I was writing regularly for Medium publications, I had the idea to pen an article about male children playing with stereotypically female toys (dolls, play kitchen sets, etc) and how being free with gender-type toys would not result in a more feminine or homosexual boy. I don’t think that I’m the right person to do that anymore.
I am the result of that kind of free-form upbringing, but I am not heterosexual. I don’t think that anyone would call me feminine, but they wouldn’t refer to me as particularly masculine either. The message that I hoped to convey through that story wouldn’t land properly, especially with how critical the internet can be nowadays. I can see the responses already:
“This n*gga said boys can play with Barbie and turn out straight. CAP!“
“But aren’t you gay tho?”
“A queer dude writes about being masculine and playing with dolls? Make it make sense. MAKE it make sense. π π½ “
So I’ll steer away from penning the extensive research article that I had planned because I know that it can be hard to separate creator from creation (e.g. J.K. Rowling and Harry Potter in light of her transphobic statements). I still do firmly believe that gender-type toys are interchangeable without any psycho-sexual change in the mind of the child. I had done a lot of preparatory research on the topic in conjunction with retreading my own childhood and I continue to hold that belief.
I may not be the person to write that particular article but here are some of the points that I had planned to outline:
1: A romantic retelling of my life growing up with my sisters acting out hours-long adventures with their Barbie dolls and my action figures – how this inspired my creativity and hastened my emotional development.
2: Quoting and elaborating on extensive research articles on how male children are affected by female toys and games, male sensitivity, and toxic masculinity.
3: The problem with binary gender roles, mitigating social fallout, and novel solutions (e.g. not gendering your children’s play or toys)
There’s the roughest of outlines. Someone else can take it from there and write their own article on the matter. I ain’t up to it no more.
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